and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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