I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
