Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
