forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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