Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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