I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
