Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
