who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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