sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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