Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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