when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
