he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
