Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
