his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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