Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
