Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize