remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
