if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
