My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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