Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
