Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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