do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
