Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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