Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
