He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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