someone threw a dead crab at me
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Congratulations! We have a period
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