its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize