I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
