Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
