so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
