he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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