i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
