I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
