fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
operation have a gay friend backfired
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
