Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
