it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
