The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
