Im at strip club and am horny
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
