I faked an abortion last night.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
