the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
