Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
