I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
