he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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