I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
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He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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