I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
