Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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