do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
