i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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