At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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