Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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