his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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