the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
