he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
