I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
