You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
