Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
