she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
