i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
