YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
