Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
