Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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