someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
