I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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