It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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