Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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