Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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